Eat Your Intestines Out!

Last week when I discovered this recipe I thought it would be absolutely awesome to make some baked intestines for a Halloween party I’m going to this weekend. Of course, I had to make a test batch to make sure the recipe wasn’t a bunch of crap (ha!).

The original recipe recommended some interesting fillings such as guacamole. I went for something that I thought would be much better for a party environment: peanut butter and Nutella. If you have never had Nutella, I don’t know what to tell you except: BUY SOME. It’s like chocolate on crack.

Anyway, all you need for these

Baked Bloody Intestines

- 2 packages frozen puff pastry which is four total sheets. This is assuming you want to fill up a full 9X13 baking dish. I only used one package for my test run and you can see that I didn’t fill up a dish.
- Peanut Butter
- Nutella

But first you are going to want to de-thaw your puff pastry. Can you make this from scratch? Yes. But it is A LOT of work. I’m sure that homemade is better but for this recipe you are probably just feeding it to drunkards, so just buy the frozen stuff. It will look like:

Frozen blocks of very buttery dough.

Ok. So you probably have like 45 minutes to let this hang out on your counter. Maybe put a little flour on both sides just to make sure it doesn’t start sticking as it thaws. Then go to the liquor store. You can’t show up to this Halloween party with only baked goods!

After like 40 minutes get out your baking dish and line it with parchment paper. TIP: If you put a few drops of oil under the parchment paper, it will stick to the dish.

Without the paper your intestines might stick!

Now you can unfold your pastry puffs. Go slow and if they start to crack either wait longer for them to thaw more or pat them with a few drops of water to moisturize. Eventually they will unfold.

Notice the lines self-made lines. These are helpful.

Now that they are unfolded just cut down the self-made lines. Take your peanut butter and paint a line down the center. Try not to overfill it. Trust me. Once they are rolled up you will get the PB flavor. But you don’t want peanut butter exploding out of your intestines. That would look, well… gross.

Add some peanut butter.

Then the real awesome part. Paint another line of Nutella right over the peanut butter. Again, don’t go crazy.

Now put a layer of Nutella. Not too much Dude.

I was expecting this next step to be hard, but it isn’t really. Just roll over one end and leave just a small lip. Hard to explain but look at the photo.

A tricky maneuver.

Then, simply roll the “intestine” over so the lip covers up the seam. You now have a sealed intestine ready for baking. So grab one and put it in your baking dish seam side down. This is where you can really get creative. Create some twists and turns and smoosh it back and forth to look like, well, intestines. Try to moosh the ends of each section together so it looks seamless. I didn’t do the best job, but I ended up with this:

This looks hilarious.

Then for the blood. And this is where you will gain from my experience. If you look at the original recipe she says to mix red and blue. If you add to much blue you will make purple. You do not want purple blood. You want bloody blood. So if you are going to add some blue, add like one or two drops to your red. You just want to darken your red, not purplize it. I dotted my blood on with a fork to give it kind of a stitch affect. You could use a brush also.

My blood is a bit purple. Sorry.

Then you simply bake this for 25 minutes at 400 degrees or whatever it recommends on your pastry puff directions!

These are very healthy for you. Tell your Doctor I said so.

Do these actually look like intestines??? Well, I’m not sure. I think I will do better on my second time around because I will have plenty of puff pastry to fill the pan. But I can tell you that they are awesome. They are good warm and good cold. They are just good.

When I first served these, we had some friends over. After sampling some of the intestines one of the girls (Hi Julie!) proclaimed, “I’m going to eat the shit out of these intestines!”

I think that pretty much sums up my feelings on this dish.

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